Saturday 24th October - 14 Stone 4 Pounds

I am very pleased with this week's results. I have not put on any weight! Considering that I have eaten MANY bad things this week, I am pleasantly suprised by the maintenance of the weight.

I have finally got my pedometer and I was so excited about it! Sadly, my brain has not quite caught up with the fact that I own a pedometer as I keep forgetting to put it on. I wore it at work on Friday and counted roughly 5,500 steps. I have forgotten to wear it today, so must think hard about it in the morning so I can start the next day fresh.

I started my exercise class last Tuesday and I really enjoyed it. Some light aerobics to begin with, a bit of weight work, and then onto yoga and then some relaxation. It suited me down to the ground and I am looking forward to my next class. Who would have thought I would ever say that about exercising. I'm not very good at it yet, but practice makes perfect!

Signing Off.

Red Dress

I would probably say that Red is my favourite colour. It is certainly a colour I am drawn to and feel comfortable with. Its strange how important colour is in our lives - it makes all the difference to how we feel about things. It helps us with identification in a number of ways, from practical things, to messages we want to send out. Black and white alone appears to be 2-dimensional, and so colour brings things to life. The study of colour in its full depth is something I have not done, but I am fascinated by colour and how it influences our life.

As I mentioned before, the colour red is something which I like and am drawn to. I find it strange that I should be drawn to red as it is tends to represent a lot of things which I am not... perhaps opposite attraction is at work here.

Anyway, the reason I have started this narrative is because I have always wanted to own a red dress. I have always like the song 'Lady in Red' and associate the lady in red with confidence, mixed with a bit of mystery and charm. Being the size I am has always inhibited me to go out and buy a red dress, because red really makes you stick out and I haven't been ready to stick out like a big red beach ball just yet.

However, when I reach my goal of size 14, I want to wear a red dress and feel good about it. So I have started looking online now for a red dress. I have a year to find the one dress that will be perfect for me and I want to spend my time looking for the right dress. I will be scouring the online shops for that coveted red dress so I can absorb all the different types and styles. I hate going into salon style shops as I hate being pestered by the shop assistants, especially if all I want to do is just look around. Going into shops to find evening/party dresses has always been an issue for me as most of these places only cater for the smaller sized woman - rarely do they go up to size 16, let alone size 18-20 etc.. I always feel funny just looking at these dresses as I feel like everyone is looking at me and thinking 'you are too fat for these'. Another insecurity! So online shopping is a blessing for me, even though it has its disadvantages. But I intend to look around at dresses periodically to see if I find a style I like and then I can always look for something similar when I reach size 14 and feel allowed to be in the posh salons/boutiques.

So if anyone knows of any good websites for nice party/evening dresses, please let me know!

Signing off.

Saturday 17th October - 14 Stone 4 pounds

I have lost another 2 pounds this week, so I am nicely suprirsed! My pedometer has arrived in Malta and I have to pick it up this week. So I will start recording my steps this week.

Now that I have the laptop back I can post my photo for October... even though its nearly 3 weeks late! Oh well... here it is.

So I really hope I can keep up the weight loss momentum!

Signing off.

Saturday 10th October – 14 Stone 6 Pounds

Yay! I have lost another 2 pounds, against all expectations as last week was a bit of a naughty week. I’m sure it will catch up with me this week, but I guess that’s ok – I have to pay the price of being naughty. I am late posting this week as our laptop has been in the repair shop. That also means I haven’t been able to post a picture of me yet either (will do so soon).

I have taken a few steps forward this week and have ordered my pedometer! I am waiting for it to arrive at the moment but hope to get it soon. I hope to have it on me most of the time to record my daily steps and try and improve on it.

I have also found an exercise class to attend on a weekly basis. A colleague from work attends a small class in someone’s basement (5 or 6 people in a class) which is a combination of cardio, pilates and yoga. I had wanted to do this for ages but her class has been full. However, this week we were discussing it at work again and 3 others at work showed an interest. So we got in touch with the lady giving the classes and as she would have another full class she has agreed to run another day! So hopefully this will start next week. Matthew intends to come with me when his shifts allow so that’s good too. It is something which I am quite keen about (even though I am lacking motivation to exercise) because it is a class which suits me quite well. I am not interested in an hours cardio as I simply wouldn’t cope in my present state and would not enjoy it and then not go. Yoga or pilates on their own would not be enough to help shift the pounds, and so the combination of the three things in one hour sounds good for me. I hope so anyway! I’ll let you know how it goes.

I have had a few singing lessons now and I am really starting to enjoy them. My confidence is slowly growing and I am getting good feedback from Jonathan. My pitch is accurate and he says that I have the ability to listen and focus on what I am doing. We are now working on breathing and quality of sound and resonance. We are using one particular song to practice with which is Andrew Lloyds Webber’s Memory. So I guess that this will be one of the 2 songs which I learn to sing really well as per my tasks. But this does not give you an excuse to ask me to sing Memory for you every time I see you…!

Anyway, I’m all prepared to have a bit of a bad weigh in on Saturday, but am pleased with the other progress I have made this week. And I am looking forward to getting another piece of make-up for my collection as per my rewards for another 2 pounds lost.

Signing off.

Saturday 3rd October - 14 Stone 8 Pounds

*Sigh* ....... another week on the plateau. I am pleased I haven't put on weight, but another plateau week means I have lost my organisation. Time to meditate on the subject I think and sort my thoughts.

I visited my therapist this week to discuss why I am unable to motivate myself to exercise and we did some interesting work using visuals about how I feel about certain things. We were playing with pebbles and things (I wont go into it all right now as it would be a bit long to explain). It was interesting because I had a pebble for my motivation, but we hardly touched on that... we were working on a few other things about how I feel and it reminded me that there are always reasons why we feel and behave certain ways. Sometimes you have to go off at a tangent to get to the root of the problem (hence not really touching on the actual motivation this time). So without boring you with the recesses of my mind, it has given me something to think about for a while. Hopefully I can sift through these feelings and turn them into something which moves me closer to my motivation for sport and exercise (coz it was there once upon a time).

September Picture

I am a bit behind with posting my September picture which I have painted. I actually painted it within September, but forgot to post it here. This picture was more of a doodle than anything else, but I enjoyed doing it. The central circle I enjoyed as I like colours which are intersected with lines and I still like the bright colours at the moment. It was more of a 'colouring in' thing than anything particular artistic. The items around the side are roses and the actual flower heads themselves is in a style which I learnt when I was about 8 during a project about life on the canals of Birmingham. This style of painting is sometimes used on barges (obviously much better than my attempt). I added in the stems and leaves as my own kind of addition.

All in all it is a bit random and odd, but then again, I guess all paintings say something about their creator! Anyway, here it is:

October Picture of Me

I haven't yet taken the picture of my face yet, but will do so this week, when I get my act together. Our webcam has broken so have to sort out Matthew to take a photo of me.

I am very tired at the moment, so even little things like taking a photo of me seems a real effort. How pathetic! :-/

Signing off.